With a big bunch of Golden Globes freshly distributed and a job-lot of Baftas and Oscars gearing up to be handed out to the great and the good, I got to thinking about what, once you've taken the fame, wealth and peer adulation out of the equation, the recipients of these plaudits actually get. Well, aside from a rather fetching door-stopper and a goodie bag worth more than my annual income, not a lot really.
Which is a shame given that, once the parties have died down and the media reports are wrapping tomorrow's chips, there's little to console the actors and film-makers who spend their lives trying to recapture that one perfect moment when their name is called out and they get to blow a metaphorical raspberry to all those school careers advisors who didn't believe they would make anything of themselves.
There are some awards ceremonies, however, that may lack the kudos of the big hitters but have invested time, thought and invention into their prize-giving. You can keep your golden baldies Mr Academy Man, we want one of these...
The Golden Beggar Awards (no, we're not sure why they're called that either) are held annually June in Kosice , Slovakia
The Carthage Film Festival, held every few years in Tunisia , offers a very tasty offering named the Tanit d'or, or Golden Tanit, which is named after the lunar goddess of ancient Carthage
Cash and bling combine in the most tasteful way possible at the annual International Film Festival Of India. The festival's top prize? A fetching Golden Peacock, plus a cash prize of a million rupees. That's a statue of a pretty bird made out of gold and just over £14,500 in cold, hard cash - sounds good to us. The most promising director also gets a (rather less valuable) Silver Peacock and half-a-million rupees (about £7,250).
If fleeting fame is your bag I'd recommend entering The Nicktoons Film Festival, which rewards winning young animators with a broadcast showing of their hard work. Alternatively, if that's all a bit juvenile, Indianapolis' Heartland Film Festival awards socially conscious film-makers ("whose work explores the human journey by artistically expressing hope and respect for the positive values of life") a cash reward of $200,000 - which is equivalent to, well, about £150,000 given today's shocking exchange rates.
For my money, though, the best award handed out anywhere in the world as a reward for excellence in film-making is none other than the San Antonio Film Festival. Forget cash, forget statues, these guys give away a low-rider bike as their grand prize. A low-rider! Now that's the gift that just keeps on giving.
What do you guys think? Are the big prizes over-rated? Leave your comments below...
Glen Ferris
