According to a report by the BBC, Vue Cinemas are to begin 'adults-only film screenings' in 58 cinemas across the UK.

The measure comes after a successful trial was carried out last year, in which 'overwhelming positive customer feedback' confirmed that a considerable number of cinema goers would prefer to see PG, 12A and 15-rated films in screens that were free from the unwanted disruptions caused by younger viewers.

The 12A rated Quantum of Solace will be the first film to get an adult-only audience, when the project is launched later today. The Day the Earth Stood Still, Yes Man and Australia, amongst others, will all try out the concept after they’re released in theatres next month.

 Well done Vue. How nice it’ll be to watch a Disney without the only people who genuinely appreciate it and The Day the Earth Stood Still with a room full of ‘the first one was better’-mumbling critics. Whilst we’re at it, why not ban popcorn, Poppets, pick & mix, giant Maltesers packets and everything else great about the cinema whose slightest crackling might possibly offend a single pair of ridiculously astute ears. And with one less place for teenagers to go and with fewer things to preoccupy them, it should work wonders for street crime.

Nearly all of the cinema disturbances I’ve experience have been the result of ‘grown-ups’, complaining noisily about something-or-other. Wouldn’t it make more sense to ban the broken cup-holder or the sticky floor or the Orange advert? Who knows, maybe more alienation is exactly what the kiddies need.