Oioi yew slaaags, Goi Ritchay’s back wiv ‘is noo film… Pukkaaa!

Um, yes. Guy Ritchie is back, with a new film indeed for more mockney adventures and the inevitable barrage of criticism from critics who sneer at the fact that his stepfather has a Knighthood and say he’s “fake” because he isn’t one of the diamond geezers he portrays in his films.

But let’s face it, who cares? I mean, who bloody cares? In various newspapers it is reported that Ritchie went to boarding schools as if it’s a scandalous revelation. As if his credibility as a filmmaker has been lost through the fact that he probably has never held up a bank with his ‘shootah’.

Now believe me, though I thought ‘Lock Stock’ and ‘Snatch’ were watchable films, I really don’t think Ritchie is a very good director. They were the kind of films I could watch once without paying much attention to them but I really have very little desire to see them again because they’re not really up to much. And I probably won’t bother with ‘RocknRolla’, because I doubt it’ll be much different from his other two films.

However, I am writing this blog in Ritchie’s defence, because I think it is acutely embarassing to read journalists making snide comments about his heritage. He was sent to private schools, but got kicked out for taking drugs and “entertaining girls in his room”. As posh as he may be, he’s still a geezer. Yes, on the Screenrush blog we are not averse to taking cheap shots at whoever we feel like slagging off, but we genuinely feel that people need to pick their angle here. Sure, slag him off, but do it for his mediocre films, and forget the mockney stuff; he has made attempts to leave it behind and was roundly pilloried for it. He’s also made some spectacular commercials, including this Nike effort, so, you know, credit where credit’s due. Who cares if he’s been raised in the lap of luxury, eating sautéed fox with a gold, diamond-encrusted fork?